How to Set Boundaries With Loved Ones When You Are in Recovery
Your loved ones may want to assist your recovery from substance use disorder (SUD). However, their attempts at support may not always be healthy or helpful. During recovery, you get to decide how people treat you and where you set personal and social boundaries. Next Level Recovery Associates provides case management, concierge coaching, and family services to help people determine the best approach to setting safe and effective boundaries with loved ones.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries come in many forms. According to the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), "A boundary is a border or limit which we set in order to protect ourselves." Boundaries can be physical or emotional and involve any area of your personal or professional life. A few common types of boundaries include:
Personal space
Work-life balance
Limits on financial borrowing
Sexual boundaries
You have the right to feel safe and respected within your own space. Boundaries are one way to ensure your family members understand what makes you feel safe, heard, and supported. The highly individual nature of personal limits makes them challenging to anticipate, and they often change or develop over time. You can express your desire for boundaries through open and honest discussions with family members about your needs.
Establishing and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries During Recovery
Recovery comes with many challenges. Maintaining emotional stability will help you make healthier life choices. Establishing personal boundaries with the people closest to you will decrease stress and encourage personal growth.
Next Level Recovery Associates can help you find resources and family support services to help you develop essential life skills, including learning to construct healthy social boundaries. Your recovery associate and care team can help you identify areas that would benefit from established boundaries. Your recovery associate can also assist you in holding yourself and others accountable for respecting those boundaries.
Support Can Take Many Forms
Your family can support you in many ways, including:
Giving you time and space to heal at your own pace
Holding you accountable for your actions and sobriety
Providing emotional or practical support
Educating themselves about the realities of SUD and long-term recovery
Modeling healthy self-care and relationships
Actively listening to your needs and making changes based on your best interest
Your family will be more likely to understand your need for boundaries and respect them if you work to do the same. Everyone has personal limits, and some family members might find it more challenging to accept change. Mutual respect and validation will improve family dynamics and help you achieve greater emotional stability.
Resolving Relationship Conflicts Within the Family Unit
Some family units have dysfunction or unhealthy dynamics that can interfere with treatment. According to the Journal of Food and Drug Analysis, "Families may experience high rates of tension and conflict related to the SUD and problems it causes in the family."
During treatment and aftercare, you should focus on healing and building healthy patterns of behavior. Family drama can keep you stuck in thinking or acting a certain way. You can avoid or resolve family conflicts by doing the following:
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries
Attending family therapy or educational classes for families in recovery
Attending self-help groups or 12-Step meetings
Actively communicating your needs
Remaining calm, objective, and mindful
Conflicts often arise when people have different feelings or ideas about a belief or situation. During those moments, you should remember that alternative and opposing viewpoints do not have to pull you apart. You can establish strong and healthy boundaries by being mindful of the other person's perspective and self-aware of your own. You do not have to agree with each other to be a healthy and supportive family unit.
Practice Setting Boundaries in Treatment and Continuing Care
Many therapeutic methods used in rehabilitation and continuing care involve setting boundaries. During individual or family therapy, you can express your need for limits in personal relationships. Family members that respect your wishes will contribute to your recovery and assist you in developing self-efficacy and self-confidence.
You can regularly practice setting boundaries by doing the following:
Honestly discussing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with family members
Working with your therapist to identify and establish necessary limits
Allowing yourself to put your own health, safety, and recovery first
Boundaries do not indicate how much you love the other person, and wanting to limit their influence on your recovery does not make you a "bad" person. You will develop more healthy physical and emotional boundaries as you go through the healing process.
As long as you remain aware of how your thoughts and actions affect others, the changes caused by these new social limits can significantly improve the effectiveness of treatment and aftercare. Being able to remain self-awareness while improving your mental health is essential to recovery.
Personal boundaries are essential to positive mental health and allow you to express your needs constructively. Most people in recovery have difficulty recognizing and establishing social limits and respecting the boundaries of others. The recovery associates at Next Level Recovery Associates can help you connect with resources that will give you the knowledge and skills to set boundaries that will improve the effectiveness of treatment and aftercare services. We believe that everyone deserves to feel respected and heard. Your recovery associate can help you maintain social boundaries and provide emotional support during your recovery. Your family can show their support by respecting your limits and taking steps to create a healthier home environment. We can help you and your family locate local resources to facilitate positive changes. To learn more about the services we offer at Next Level Recovery Associates, contact us at consult@nextlevelra.com.