Does Relapse Equal Failure?
Experiencing a relapse can be an utterly sad and terrifying event when committing to a life of sobriety. Understanding this occurrence and how to continue moving forward is vital for your health and well-being. Remaining hopeful and positive during this time can ensure that you can continue with your recovery from substance use disorder (SUD).
Have I Failed?
First and foremost, you have not failed, and you are not a failure. Just because you have relapsed does not mean anything about who you are or what you value. The reality is that relapses occur often in the recovery world. Relapses are not only common but also understandable. Life is hard and comes with many challenges. Therefore, it is impossible to never make a mistake.
Even though this is a challenging time, try to have compassion for yourself. Consider if a friend came to you and told you about their relapse. The odds are that you would not consider them to be a failure or think of them any differently. You would treat them with kindness and compassion. You should treat yourself the same way. Remind yourself that you are trying hard and that a relapse does not mean you have failed completely or that you are a bad person.
To mitigate these negative self-beliefs, practicing self-compassion can help. Some ways to do this can include:
Journaling your feelings
Reciting daily affirmations
Attending group therapy to recognize that you are not alone
Letting go of the past by staying present through breathing techniques
Taking care of your physical health — brushing your teeth, bathing, etc.
Doing fun things even when you feel you do not deserve to enjoy life
How Do I Find Hope?
Although relapses are understandable, this does not negate the fact that they can be exceptionally distressing. In the midst of this distress and anxiety, finding hope for the future can be challenging. Now more than ever, it is vital for you to find hope, even during this scary time.
Rather than viewing relapse as a failure, it can be helpful to perceive it as a learning experience. In fact, this experience can help strengthen your recovery. By experiencing a relapse, you learn more about yourself, your triggers, and your recovery plan. When you are able to look back at the details of your relapse, you can discover exactly what led you to engage in substances again. You can then make adjustments to your treatment plan as necessary. Rather than feeling ashamed, you can remind yourself that your relapse is an opportunity for personal growth and strength in your recovery.
As the saying goes, “When you know better, you do better.” Remember that before your relapse, you truly did the best you could. After your relapse, you have the opportunity to learn and adapt. This experience only gives you another tool in your toolbox as you move forward in your recovery journey.
How Do I Move Forward?
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Getting past and working through the negative emotions caused by a relapse can be very intense. Although they may be troubling, the last thing you should do is suppress or ignore your feelings. Instead, it is beneficial to allow yourself to feel these emotions completely while knowing that they are temporary.
To do this, try lying on a comfortable surface. Close your eyes, and notice how certain emotions feel in your body. Perhaps you become aware that anxiety presents itself as a tightness in your chest. Maybe you find that sadness feels like a heaviness throughout your whole body. Simply noticing how emotions feel in your body can help you process them by allowing you to realize that they are temporary and separate from you as a person.
Give Yourself Time
Do not try to rush into “fixing” yourself or your recovery right away. Once you begin acknowledging your emotions, give yourself time to grieve and heal from the experience. Relapses can be traumatic, so know that it is okay to take time to feel what you are feeling and process the memories and emotions that may come up. Your recovery is unique to you, so do not feel pressured to go right back to feeling “normal” again.
Do Good Things for Yourself
After a relapse, you may feel as though you do not deserve to have good things in your life. To combat this belief, try doing the opposite. Perhaps you can go to a beautiful, local nature preserve on a nice day. Go swimming with a friend on a hot summer day and have some ice cream afterward. Go to your local library and get your favorite book to read outside in the sunshine. Or maybe you can listen to your favorite music and have a dance party by yourself.
Whatever you choose, make sure you have fun. Doing so can help remind you that there is still hope and that you are an amazing person who deserves joy and freedom from substances.
Reach Out for Help
Mental health care professionals are available to help you move forward from your relapse in a healthy way. They understand that relapses are hard to go through. Therefore, they have the tools and skills to remind you that you are not a failure and that your relapse can help you grow. A therapist can give you the extra support you may need during this time to achieve your goals.
After a relapse, it can be tempting to succumb to the belief that you have failed in your recovery. This is actually far from the truth. Rather than condemning yourself, try to show compassion for yourself during this time. To find hope in this situation, try to consider your relapse as a learning experience from which you can grow. As you move forward, it can be helpful to acknowledge your feelings, give yourself time, and do good things for yourself. Because relapses can be difficult to navigate on your own, consider reaching out to us at Next Level Recovery Associates. We can help support you through this difficult time and reassure you that you are not a failure. To get assistance with learning and growing from your relapse, and not becoming overwhelmed by shame, reach out to us today at consult@nextlevelra.com.